About Me

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Hello - 

I am like millions of others who experienced the death of both parents in a short period of time.  In that way, I am not unique.  Throw in the rest of the bunch whose parents died over longer stretches and we make up a very large universe of people.

But because I am an “older” mom and the youngest child in my family, I have lived  through the process of grieving, trying to plant my feet back firmly on the ground and juggle a lot of practical tasks, before many of my friends.  And first, I had to live through my parent’ illnesses and deaths. Not exactly the type of expert I was eager to become, but here I am.

And, a couple of years after my parents passing, there was the divorce.  A 3-year harrowing journey to freedom filled with lawyers, psychiatrists, binders and binders of emails, 100s of pages of financial statements, more lawyers, and finally, resolution. Grateful to share that I ended my divorce, 70 pounds lighter physically and profoundly changed emotionally and spiritually.

These two journeys -- the deaths of my parents and my divorce -- have landed me in a position to lead others as they travel through life experiences.  My goal is that some of my war wounds can help you have fewer.  Or, at least, to know that at every turn you are not alone, and that "this too shall pass".

My friends, family and professionals have been tremendous as I (and we) have navigated this new territory.  And, to them, I owe a great deal of thanks.  But what I am so shocked by is that people want to know how it has all worked.  They want information in order to take the fear out of the process just a little bit.  I am comfortable talking about process and feelings and am continuously fascinated by how it all unfolds.

Almost EVERYONE goes through challenges at some point, and yet it is so little discussed.  As is often the case, the details are different for everyone, but the themes are the same.  In regards to my parents, how the doctors were chosen, how did my parents face their illnesses, what about siblings, and what to do with all those possessions people have after having lived full lives.  Of course, I have no great answers.  Just my experiences that I hope will shed some light.

And, in terms of the divorce, there are so many questions. Why does it take so long?  Why can't it be civilized? How am I going to pull together all those records for my lawyer when I am trying to get things done in real life -- work, take care of my kid, etc AND all in a time of COVID!  Who can I trust to do some of this work for me?   And, if you have ADD, and this all seems extra hard -- be gentle with yourself.  I have found that friends with ADD suffer extra in the divorce process -- all that organizing combined with emotion.

I am “number 4” — in the language of families and siblings, meaning I was the fourth born child. My parents had the 4 of us in 5.5 years.  One of the conversations I was able to have with my Mom at the end of her life revolved around the insanity of having 4 kids while also being a true progressive Democrat out to make the world a better place for humankind.  We laughed.  It was an unanswerable question really.  They just did it.  Now, as a mother of two, I am literally dumbfounded by how she (and my father) pulled it off at all.

So I thank you for hearing my experience, strength and hope.  And, for considering allowing me to help you make Life Easier.  No need to suffer.  I promise.  I just want to do for you what my friends do for me.  

Best, Melinda Beth Gould 

P.S. My Bio: Grew up in NYC.  Bronx Science.  Dartmouth College.  Harvard Business School.  Former Banker. Serial Entrepreneur. Know my way around a therapists office and a spreadsheet.